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Reflections on My Spiritual Highs and Lows

July 1, 2009

I’ve been pondering God’s Triunity a lot lately and on Saturday morning I was completely mesmerized while reading An Unpublished Essay on the Trinity by Jonathan Edwards, studying the scriptures he cited, and listening to worship music.  I felt like God was giving me new insights into who He is and on Saturday morning I was especially captured by the warm feelings of His love and the sweet presence of His Holy Spirit as I meditated on His Word and communed with Him.

When I wrote the previous post on Sunday night I had all these feelings and thoughts I wanted to share, but my words felt woefully inadequate (they still do) so I ended up not saying anything about what I’ve been experiencing lately. Tonight I was in a more reflective mood, though, and thought I would try blogging about something a little more personal.

As I was pondering my feelings I realized I’ve been on sort of a spiritual high lately.  This set me to pondering the numerous peaks and valleys I’ve had throughout my Christian life and the value in each.  Sometimes these ups and downs have been simultaneous.  God is ever-present so He usually meets with me during my hard times.  Usually, though, the valleys are characterized by intense pain and heartache that eventually result in deeper surrender and subsequent growth.  I’ve also had valleys of doubt where I have wrestled to gain understanding of some theological issue.

The peaks have often come shortly after the valleys and have usually been correlated with a spiritual victory I was fighting to win while in the valley.  Since I’ve come to experience God working in my valleys, I’ve found that I have much less fear of the valleys.  That doesn’t mean I love them more than the peaks – I still prefer the peaks!  But my value for valleys has grown. I think this is because I’ve found God in my valleys – comforting me, strengthening my faith, guiding me through the rough places, and giving me spiritual insights leading to victories. Some of these experiences are so personal and unique to my situation.  An atheist couldn’t convince me that I have an imaginary friend!  🙂  An imaginary friend doesn’t know how to meet my deep spiritual needs.

No, I have a personal God who knows me intimately – inside and out and all my quirks – because He made me.  And He loves me – quirks and all – and invites me to have sweet fellowship with Him – the awesome God of all creation – now and for all eternity.  So I’ve actually grown to love some of these valleys.  In fact, as I reflect on these things I realize that some of the things I used to consider valleys are actually still ongoing, but because I’ve surrendered these areas to the Lord they don’t even seem like valleys anymore.  I guess you could say God’s been turning my valleys into peaks!

And sometimes He meets with me in an extra-special way.  Like on Saturday during my morning devotions.  I was so ravished by His enticing, soul-satisfying love and I just wanted to sit and soak it up.

My spiritual high from Saturday carried over into Sunday and I was particularly blessed by the message at church.  I extended my worship time for awhile after I got home. There is this song I think I could sing over and over again and never tire of it:  I Stand in Awe of You

So……..

since I have shared a rather personal post I thought I would open it up to see if anyone else wants to bear their soul.  🙂

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. faithoffathers permalink
    July 2, 2009 4:15 pm

    Jessica,

    I appreciate the testimony and experience you share. I agree with you completely that it is in our difficulties and lows in life that we are humbled enough to really find and appreciate God. This is true for normal Joe’s like you and me as well as for prophets.

    I was 18 years old when I first really understood that Christ had stood in for me and suffered personally for my sins. Just like you, this was not only an intellectual “light-switch” that went off, but a deep and beautiful presence and power that I experienced. It was accompanied by a clarity of thought and mind I had never had before. I knew it was the Spirit of God, and I knew He knew I had received His message and love. Although I still have challenges, dissappointments, and frustrations, my life has never been the same.

    keep the faith!

    fof

  2. July 2, 2009 10:16 pm

    Thank you for sharing, FoF.

    I hope you and your family have a fabulous 4th of July weekend! 🙂

    In Christ,

    Jessica

  3. July 8, 2009 12:38 am

    It is a good essay, indeed.

    And I listened to the song, too.

    thanks,
    et

  4. gloria permalink
    July 9, 2009 10:33 pm

    Jessica ~
    What a beautiful post ……

    Thank you for taking time to share your thoughts and feelings … I too must agree that it is thru the valleys of one’s life where the living God does school us.. the ‘school of suffering’ I call it, and I too have learned to not cringe at it, but embrace every moment of it. To surrender is to allow myself to die and Christ to live within me.

    God bless ~
    gloria

    ” It is such a comfort to drop the entaglments and perplexities of life into God’s hands and leave them there”. – L.B. Cowman

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